Is this thing possible ?  I ask myself as I'm heading out the parking lot.  By eyeballing distances on the map, Parent seemed to be about 300 km from the nearest checkpoint, which was the first one at Grand Remous, Quebec.  The map showed that the near part of the road was paved but the great majority of it was dirt.  Numerous questions filled my mind; would there be gas available at Parent ?  In what kind of shape would the road be in ?  Could I add another 600 km to the base route, most of it dirt road, and still get back on time ? and lastly, 'What is all this noise I'm hearing'?

In my attempt to get rolling as quickly as I could, I forgot to put in my earplugs.  This warranted me stopping on side of the road to insert them in so they could do their stuff.  Much better.  Get rolling again.  Of course no sooner had I got back up to speed on the highway that I noticed that I had my map folded wrong in my map holder.  I wanted to be able to see Parent on the map as I was driving there but had it folded for the base route instead.  Another stop.

Contrary to what it may seem, the plan was to get to Parent ASAP for a few reasons, the main one being that if this bonus is a very difficult one and it takes much longer than anticipated, I'll need every second I have at my disposal.  This meant scrubbing out some very easy bonus points along the way.  Some of them I could see as I drove by but I elected not to stop, thinking there would be plenty to do after the coveted Parent one.  Checking out the map showed that the only way up there would have me passing the first mandatory checkpoint going there, then passing it again coming back.  I decided to save it for later and just go for the dirt as quickly as possible.  Must get out of the dirt road before dark.

Disclaimer:  this story is written for entertainment purposes only.  As you can imagine, a long motorcycle ride such as this one can get pretty boring at times so the story might be embellished with tall tales of fighting fire-breathing dragons, saving damsels in distress or even exceeding the posted speed limit.  Any writings or innuendos about such testosterone-driven acts of foolishness should not be taken seriously.  nudge nudge wink wink 

I made very good time from North Bay to a place called Mont Laurier, the nearest town before starting on the dirt road.  I covered the 460 or so km in just under 4 hours.  The way I had it figured out was that to be able to complete the rally, I needed to be at the first checkpoint no later than 9 PM.  It was now 1 PM, meaning that I had 8 hours to do the 550 or so km stint.  When I gassed up at Mont Laurier I asked the attendant if they had gas stations up in Parent.  Oh yes, I think they have 2 or 3.  Sweet.  I just put gas in my main tank and maybe a liter or so in the fuel cell just to be safe.  I was concerned that if the going got very rough that the fuel cell bracket might break if there was too much weight back there.  After all, my saddlebags were attached to the same bracket and they were pretty full of tools, warm clothing and other goodies.  It turns out that my fears would be well founded.  More on this later.

The dirt road began with a sign saying 'Parent 178 km'.  I had a three wheeler when I was a teenager and a dual purpose bike for a short while a few years after that.  My dirt riding experience definitely wasn't something I could consider a plus.  How to best describe the road...  I would say the word washboard is definitely right up there.  I had been through small sections of washboard-like dirt roads before and they used to be just that - sections.  This was constant.  To make matters worse, this surface had varying amounts of loose gravel and sand on top of it.  In this stuff the front tire would just dig in and slow you down with such force that the back end would want to overtake the front.  I had several frightening experiences and they would inevitably follow the same pattern.  Riding along at maybe 80 km / h or so, hit the loose stuff, major understeer, slow down, washboard starts kicking in and doesn't let go until I've slowed down to maybe 15 to 20 km / h.  I've needed to stop several times because I was sure I had 2 flat tires.  It was that bad.   Locals in their pickup trucks and SUV's added to the entertainment as local customs dictated driving as fast as possible while hitting all the apexes regardless of which side of the road you wind up in.  Thankfully the scenery was a bit better.  I even saw an adolescent black bear cross the road right in front of me.

I finally arrived in Parent at around 4:00 PM.  At this point I was feeling very good indeed.  I figured that maybe 3 or 4 or us would have tried for this crazy bonus and I felt that I probably had about an hour in front of the others.  I manage to get lost in town (!) and make my way to 'Hotel Central', which is a photo bonus

Strange but the bike actually looks clean in that picture.  It wasn't.  With my 50 000 point bonus in hand I get ready to leave.  I check out the fuel cell and it seemed to be holding it's own.  On the road to the hotel I meet two other riders, they are on a CBR 1000 Hurricane and one of those new FJR's.  I had planned to start my timer as I was leaving the town limit to give myself an idea about how much a lead I had over the competition.  Not that this thing was a race or anything...  Total lead after 7 hours of hard riding = about 4 minutes.  D'Oh !

As I was leaving Parent I met with another bike.  It was a pristine-looking BMW K1200LT of all things.  This bike ranked high in my list of bikes I *knew* wouldn't go for this bonus.  I guess that the fact it was ridden by a 2-time IronButt Rally finisher should have told me otherwise...  Along the road back I met 7 more riders.  The last one I saw was about 2 hours behind me.

On the road back I decided that I lost my lead in the dirt so I tried to pick up the pace.  About 20 minutes out I was passed by the Hurricane and FJR each with about 50 km / h in hand.  I met up with them later when they had stopped to put some duct tape on one of their visors that had let go.  They explained to me how to ride in this mess.  Their words of wisdom were basically "ride faster and stay on the gas if the going gets tough" (only much later I would learn that this guy had 14 years experience in racing motocross).   I tried this and came to the realization that this was the way to go.  I didn't try to keep up with them as they were definitely in a different league than I but I gradually put on some speed and would regularly see 140 km / h on the clock.  handlebars start flapping ?  no problem, give it more gas.  Corners were also much better handled with the rear wheel drifting out a bit to counteract the bike's tendency to understeer.  I made up about half an hour on the return trip.

The feeling of relief when I hit pavement was similar to the feeling you get when you've been camping for a week and finally reach home and enjoy the luxury of no bugs everywhere, indoor plumbing and a soft bed.  The road had taken its toll on the bike.  The aux. driving lights I had installed with home-made metal brackets had failed and were dangling uselessly.  This road made for serious vibrations.  For the time being the fuel cell seemed fine.  My leatherman made a good job at snipping the wires from the aux lights and into the saddlebags they go !

Make my way to checkpoint number one, Grand Remous.  I arrive there at about 7:00 PM.  I had 2 hours to play with to look for bonuses on top of the time I figured it would take me to do the rest of the base route.  I met 2 guys at checkpoint #1 who had been hunting down police stations since the beginning of the rally.  They congratulated me on doing the Parent thing but deep down I could sense a bit of discouragement in their voices.  Fill both main gas tank and fuel cell (what do you know, it held !) and head off through the 'Parc de la Vérendrye' at dusk to see how many flies I can kill.  They should rename this rally the 'Dragonfly 1600' instead of the Blackfly, as there are plenty of these big burly insects that feel like birds as you hit them.

The next 5 hours are pretty 'routine'.  ride up north to Senneterre then west to Macamic while picking up some easy and some not so easy bonuses.  One in particular was a nasty road with bridges that looked fine but you'd hit them with a wheel-crushing bump at the beginning.  All this to get to the village and look for the church that had something written in front of it only to realize after searching for the right one that the bonus was at the next village down the road that incidentally had the same name.  All this for a measly 110 points or so.  

After the 3rd mandatory checkpoint, it became clear that I wouldn't have enough gas to make it to Timmins Ontario to carry on with my route plan.  All the places I'd been to recently were of the smaller-town persuasion and didn't have 24 hour gas.  I looked at my options, I could either backtrack to Lasarre and hope it had some (it didn't seem any bigger than Macamic on the map) or change plans and head south down to Rouyn-Noranda, which was about 50 km.  I opted for safety first because I didn't want to get stuck somewhere waiting until 7:00 AM for a gas station to open.   I had a bit of trouble finding gas at Rouyn-Noranda but eventually found it.  While I was there, 3 more bikes showed up.  that same K1200LT I saw on the Parent road, along with a Goldwing and a BMW R1150GS.  When I was about to put gas in my fuel cell, I came to realize that the bracket had broken in not one but 2 places.  One of the bolts had snapped off and one of my 'L-brackets' had broken off in the middle.  The cell was flapping up and down, pivoting on the 2 front attachments.  That was the end of using the fuel cell for the rally for me.  I didn't want a more catastrophic failure later on.  

As we were heading in the same direction anyways, I decided to tag along with these other guys.  This was mainly for safety at night but also for the 4-heads-are-better-than-one factor for finding the bonus locations in the darkness  I learned a lot from following the more experienced riders.  The main thing was that at this point my plan was to mainly go for only the easy bonuses along my route plan, as I didn't figure I had a lot of time to spare to make it to the finish in time.  The experienced boys didn't seem to stress about this and took some time looking for the harder-to-find places.  I figured that if they didn't panic, I shouldn't either.

Next gas stop was in Timmins and I decided to put on my electric vest as it was beginning to get a bit chilly.  The temperature was only down to maybe 18 degrees or so but I find that after a hard day in the saddle, you lose your ability to tolerate changes in temperature.  Electric clothing is very nice.  Toasty....

Next stop is the mandatory one near Gogama.  While there we meet up with another 3 or 4 bikes.  I down one of those 'energy drinks'.  I don't know what all the fuss is about, it was my first time using one of those and frankly, it tasted awful and didn't give me 'energy'.  Oh well.

My 'group' decided to head down South through Sudbury rather than head East because the latter seemed quite squiggly on the map with a dirt road section in it.  The road to Sudbury was my low-point of the rally.  I was a bit tired (after all, it was around 5 in the morning) and following the big touring bikes at 120 km / h I would get hypnotized by all their tail-lights.  I found myself starting to have some unsafe behavior, almost nodding off, having trouble keeping a constant speed etc...  I decided to leave the pack and try it at a more comfortable pace for a bit and if this didn't work, I'd stop at the nearest 'IronButt Motel' and take a quick snooze.  I had purchased a 'Screaming Meanie' before the rally and really wanted to try it out.  Once I got up to a more 'challenging speed' the fatigue quickly went away.  Daybreak was coming up and the road was nice.  Life was sweet.  Sweet that is, until the bike died.

Sputter Sputter Sputter Silence.  Stop by the side of the road.  The bike had been running great until then.  it was about 15 minutes to seven.  I was near Sudbury.  Push the starter, bike starts.  I head back out.  20 seconds later, same thing.  It feels like I'm out of gas but the gauge still has 2 bars showing.  I open the tank and can hear gas sloshing around.  Hmmm.  take off helmet, gloves and jacket and start looking for reasons.  oil level okay, no strange smells coming from anywhere (good), no smoke coming from anywhere (also good).  My group passes me, I don't flag them down.  I figure that if they stop for me they will never make it to the final checkpoint on time and it's not like they will be able to help me quickly or anything.  I start wondering not only about not finishing the rally, but how will I get back home (still have 1 500 km to go).

I take out my toolkit and start looking for the usual suspects.  Fuses are okay, fuel pump is making a funny noise.  Hmmm, it sounds as if it's sucking air instead of gas.  Might this be as simple as out of gas with a broken gauge ?  I think there might be a bit of gas left over in the fuel cell.  I open the valve and blow into the fuel cell vent and expel a few milliliters of gas into the main tank.  Start up the bike and it runs !  Repack my stuff and I'm able to make it to the next gas station which is about a km down the road and it's open !  07:09 AM !

Only much later (as in 10 days later) will I realize that had we taken the more direct route after the last checkpoint, I would have been stranded in the middle of nowhere instead of near Sudbury.  Funny how these things work.

After putting in the gas and seeing the bike run normally was probably the high point of the rally for me.  I would be a finisher !  I still had about 250 km to go in 2 hours but that was okay.  I was allowed up to 2 hours after 9:00 AM with only penalty points deducted.  So long as I arrived before 11:00 I'd qualify as a finisher.  I eventually arrived at 09:23 AM.  Smiles.

After checking in and handing over my bonus sheets it's off to the hotel for a bit of a snooze.

Later that afternoon we had our banquet and exchanged war-stories and had a great time.  Having some food was also pretty nice.  Very well organized banquet, hat's off to Peter for putting all of this together.

The next morning I left North Bay at 04:00 AM heading out for home by the quickest and most boring route possible (1 415 km), arriving home around 5:30 PM.  Total mileage for the 5 days :  about 6 000 km.

Synopsis:

This was a great rally, very well organized, weather co-operated (no rain) and was a great initiation to rallying.

Next

home